My pal came around the other nite for a visit, so we cooked up a curry, opened up some brews and stuck the Black Eyed Peas on the stereo. All of a sudden, outta nowhere, he says, “Geez Grump, you gotta be the lasiest car modeller on the face of the earth”. What a thing to say to your mate! If I’d known, I wouldna wasted a great curry on him! “No, I’m serious, why don’t you take the test?” So, out comes the …

Car Modelling Indolence Test

 You want to buy the new AMT Nova, so you …

  A – Drive down to the hobby shop to buy it?

  B – Ask your wife/girlfriend to get it for you?

  C – Order it off the Internet?

  D – Ask the shopkeeper to drop it off at your house on his way home?

The body has some mould lines, so you …

  A – Sand them out meticulously?

  B – Just get rid of the worst?

  C – Spray the body REAL THICK, so you don’t see them?

  D – Mould lines? No one said anything about mould lines?

The engine looks a little dull, so you …

  A – Reproduce each and every hose, wire and clamp?

  B – Stick on a pre-wired distributor?

  C – Leave it like it is?

  D – Glue the hood shut?

In order to get a great paint finish, you …

  A – Go the airbrush and polishing-kit route?

  B – Hit it with a rattle can?

  C – Paint it with enamel and a brush?

  D – Sub-contract the job to someone who sprays great?

No one sees the underside of your model. Your method is to …

  A – Replicate every chassis detail faithfully?

  B – Build it straight from the box and detail with paint?

  C – Spray everything matt black and drybrush with a bit of silver?

  D – Leave the chassis off and stick the wheels in with Prestik?

The interior is very visible, so you …

  A – Spend two weeks super-detailing it with photo-etched parts?

  B – Build it box stock, but flock the carpets?

  C – Spray everything matt black?

  D – Paint the insides of the windows gloss black?

A set of wheels will finish the model off nicely, so you …

  A – Turn up some killer billets on a lathe?

  B – Order a set of aftermarket Pegasus wheels on the Net?

  C – Spray the kit wheels with Alclad II Chrome?

  D – Plunder your son’s Jada Toys diecast for cool wheels?

You need to transport it to the model show, so you …

  A – Build a CAD-designed, custom-made box for it?

  B – Nurse it on your lap while your wife/girlfriend drives?

  C – Wrap it in cloth and carry it in its original box?

  D – Carry it in your pocket?

It is time to display your pride and joy, so you …

  A – Build a great display, with lights, turntable & a photo archive?

  B – Stick it on a bought base that looks like part of a street?

  C – Place it directly on the table, but in a nice, prominent spot?

  D – Go to the pub, while your wife/girlfriend puts it on the table for you?

At the model show, you are asked to judge aircraft, so you …

  A – Jump at the chance, so you can broaden your model experience?

  B – Reluctantly agree, because you feel too bad to say no?

  C – Feign a disease or injury in order to get out of it?

  D – Run like hell for the pub?

Scoring:

Give yourself four points for each “A”, three points for each “B”, two points for each “C” and one point for each “D”.

36-40 POINTS: You are way too enthusiastic and you drive everyone around you crazy. Your nickname is probably something like “Obsessive Owen” or “Compulsive Colin” or “Fanatical Fred”. You seriously need to lighten up!

31-35 POINTS: You are kinda pushing the definition of normal. You enjoy your hobby and you enjoy doing a bit of extra work. You’ll be OK in the long run, as long as “Compulsive Colin” is not your hero or your role model.

26-30 POINTS: You are sorta normal. You probably build for your own enjoyment and you get a kick out of seeing your model on the table at a competition. Keep this balance.

21-25 POINTS: You can barely call yourself a modeller. You should realise that a little extra work is not a crime. However, you can be saved, so make the effort!

16-20 POINTS: You probably like hanging around other modellers, but that’s about all we can say! Has it occurred to you that collecting die-cast models may be a better idea?

10-15 POINTS: Where do you come from? May we suggest a couple of alternative hobbies, such as watching soapies on TV, collecting belly-button lint, alcoholism, etc?

Well, I checked out the test and said, “Sorry, this looks too much like hard work. Pass me another brew and turn up that stereo!”

Until next time …

Make the effort!

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